almost a year since my last post. hope no one reads this no one discovers this i really would like a blog totally locked now. kinda like a diary not supposed to be read by random ppl rite.
two days to a level results. is hard work always rewarded? unfortunately we all know the answer is no. i've had one too many random non-As appear, even after hard work. yes, hard is subjective. but objectively viewed, i dun think it is diminished anywhat. well, after fri, triumph or obliteration (borrowed from the new jedi order: the unifying force).
out on an mc from the army for a lung infection. took some time to arrange some music, things which inspire me and remind me what i live for (certainly not brandishing guns and cowering to mindless invective). but somehow, i cant get JUST DANCE by gaga to sound right for strings. tried reading up, listening to violin renditions on youtube (god ARGH), but still cant get the sound i want. closest is double bass pizzicato. I still dont believe its a limit of the instrument. only my technique (totally raw random sucky) or maybe the program's sound synthesizers? (heh deflecting blame).
and fml add that to my stress fracture recently diagnosed on my left tibia. cant run. boom. something great taken out of my life. there's still the bike, but its time consuming to take out, the roads are becoming less safe (think poor rsaf major) and i dont cycle at night. I value life over thrills, strange for a biker eh? im probably one of the 1% in my age group who actually cycles with a helmet. swimming? its the pool. 1/10 for stress relief (lol i have a stress fracture lollol). but oh well i see opportunity to improve my cycling skills. which leave a lot to be desired. prob shld join AW and the fast guys at ecp again. BUT, theres that full time job i have now that sort of rules me out. guess another part of my life is now gone.
uni apps, uni apps. fk so many stanford, oxbridge rejected. i havent tried yet. but why shld/will it be any different for me? oh well. life now isnt going that great. i guess its the 18 year old's crisis. whatever i decide to do now will change the course of my future (dramatic words from some fantasy movie). i really do want to do music. composing or performance really sparks my interest. but in today's world driven by pragmatism (lol a gp cliche), a pure music degree is even to me a strict no-no. margaret mentioned columbia-julliard. maybe. columbia? 6% chance maybe. julliard? I cant even touch itzhak perlman's feet, and hes on a wheelchair (lol?). maybe its time for some serious self-improvement and all that (i really regret not taking music seriously but no thanks to YOU). maybe my dream will come true haha. in 10 years we'll see.
been listening to a lot of pop music. like a lot. but i dun like any. maybe its my problem? mraz, perry, gomez, carey, spears, lovato, jonas, cyrus (heh like somewhat) fall flat. after a day of listening, my ipod switched back to jascha heifetz- sibelius allegro moderato. !@#@ yeah. that's real music.
some more private thoughts shall not be shared. bye and if u r reading this....why on earth will u be reading this!!!!???